~found in Mind! Vol. 109, Supplement, January 2000
How well do you know your philosophers?
Do the dense prose of Kant,
the wit of Russell, Hume’s urbane smile,
Schopenhauer’s bile and Peacocke’s airy grace
all set little bells ringing in your addled head?
Test your powers by trying to identify the authors
of the following extracts, ripped unscrupulously
from their contexts.
Presented with the human form
we entertain immediately a multitude
of however tentative expectations.
Swinging the bat unfortunately
would involve smashing the cow’s head.
But I wouldn’t get fun from doing that;
the pleasure comes from exercising my muscles,
swinging well, and so on. It’s unfortunate
that as a side effect (not a means)
of my doing this, the animal’s skull gets smashed.
To be sure, I could forego swinging the bat,
and instead bend down and touch my toes
or do some other exercise.
As already remarked, the interest (if any)
of the concluding section of the chapter
does not depend on the unrestricted validity of K.
It is enough if K holds a priori
of classes of propositions
for which L is also a prioi.
The buffalo looks on insolently,
his soul like the sand,
yet more like the thicket,
but most like the swamp.
Whereas there is a view of the mole,
and no front view is a view of a mole
between the shoulder blades.
Such a mole does not stamp the front view
as may approaching death
or a load of troubles,
and so there is no impression of it.
I suppose that sooner or later the physicists
will complete the catalogue they’ve been compiling
of the ultimate and irreducible properties of things.
It is a commonplace that modern science
has given us a disenchanted conception
of the natural world.
Physicalism is the wrong answer
to an essentially trivial question.
The delightful way the various parts of a human body
differ in temperature.
But had the Polynesian culture enjoyed the blessing
of analytical philosophy it is all to clear
that the question of the meaning of taboo
could have been resolved in a number of ways.
The first reply with all answers correct
will win a holiday for two
in the Dept. of Philosophy,
University of Hawaii.