What other sacramental rites evolved in the Church under the guidance of the Holy Spirit?
Chasing hawks, chasing crows, hugging someone who is trying to clean shoes, looking at someone’s sister’s photographs of Greece, almost anything from California, or for that matter, from west of the Rocky Mountains.

How do they differ from the two sacraments of the Gospel?
They are not rain, unemployed kids, tourists, a bustling woman, lots of people with nothing to do.

What is Confirmation?
A old guy with a Tootsie Pop at a community movie.

What is required of those to be confirmed?
To play the saxophone on a street corner.

What is Ordination?
A wickedness deeper than Dante’s hell.

What is Holy Matrimony?
An 83-year old Grandma trapped in a mangled car, sucking moisture from her socks.

What is Reconciliation of a Penitent?
A baby gate, so the baby won’t fall out the window.

What is Unction of the Sick?
The cold air off the continent lifting warm ocean air into a Nor’easter, tracking up the coast.

Is God’s activity limited to these rites?
No: they are dry mowed grass clippings in the letters spelling MOTHER on a granite gravestone.

How are the sacraments related to our Christian hope?
By explaining once and for all whether or not the “self’ is an individual reality, a social construction, or a twitch in the dream of an adolescent god.


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